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Becca Sebire

Opinion: It Starts, and Ends, with Men

Photo by Thames Valley Police


There are some uncomfortable truths in society that nobody likes to face as realities. Women are instructed never to go home alone after a night out, wear flats so you can run if needed and to always give your location to a friend when meeting a stranger for a date. These are meant to be protective factors, things an older woman tells you around the time you leave home. But what about the women who do everything right and still end up in the wrong situation? And why, for that matter, is the assault or killing of a woman the only crime in the world where the victim should somehow see it coming and prevent it?


These are all questions that came up at the student union event Monday night for white ribbon day. This international day began 1991 as a response to global femicide rates rising and the École Polytechnique massacre in Canada where fourteen women were murdered and a further ten injured on the engineering programme. The movement itself was created by pro-feminist men who wanted to support women and protest against this sort of violent actions. Hate crimes towards women are a widespread issue, with globally last year femicide occurring somewhere in the world every ten minutes. 


These statistics are disturbing, and with domestic abuse and women seeking refuge from violent partners on the rise in the UK now, it is more important than ever for men to become allies to the reality of female-targeting violence. The university offer consent and bystander training available on their website under ‘consent matters.’ It takes only an hour of your time to complete. 


A Thames Valley policeman at the event also mentioned that if you hear a man making disturbing comments about women or speaking with violent intentions this can be reported to the police, and if several reports are made the individual will be investigated. This sort of intelligence is vital for female protection, as often perpetrators of femicide will only make such comments in male-dominated spaces. As Tom Day (Thames Valley police) stated, it is time for “men to intervene, men to stop violence and men to give evidence” in order to protect women. Libby from Soar academy agreed with this “it has to start with men…they have to take a stand and internalise it by being the change themselves.”


In terms of ways for a woman to protect herself, a number of technologies and initiatives were mentioned. RUSU is a registered safe space so anyone can report if they are being targeted or in an uncomfortable situation and it will be taken care of. There is an anonymous report and support system at the university as well as 24-hour helpline for all welfare issues. If you are on a union night out and get separated from your group, campus security can escort you back home. In terms of more general nights out in town there is the Reading safe space on Friday and Saturday for people who are lost from their group, intoxicated or in a situation that they are not comfortable with. The people working there can help and get you home safely. 


Domestic abuse is also an issue that women face, and it is a complicated situation to escape from. Berkshire women’s aid, a local charity, will work with anyone to make them safe from domestic abuse, including men. As Rachel Murray, head of operations at the charity stated, the thought that ‘home is a dangerous place to be [is] uncomfortable to think about’ but the truth for too many women. She suggested the app Hollie Guard which is discreetly stored in a phone and can activate voice and video recording when the phone is shaken and thereby record evidence of abuse.


The following call number can be used for if someone is in imminent danger but can’t speak - 999, if prompted press 55.

Despite the heavy topics of the night, it was enjoyable to be surrounded by women and men all working towards the eradication of female-targeted violence. When doing the workshop with Soar academy, we were taught to defend ourselves bodily but also how to use voice as both empowerment and defence. If you have never heard twenty women learning to defend themselves by screaming ‘back off!’, with fear in their eyes, then maybe violence against women seems a million miles away. But that night it felt good to stand together, claim our space and use our voices.


Additional Resources & Information:

 


Consent Matters - University of Reading


UOR 24/7 Helpline Number:  0800 023 2466


Berkshire Women's Aid: 0808 801 0882 – Free & Not Traceable - (Hours available on Website).



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